My problem is math. I am failing the course and the very idea drives me to insanity, sadness, and contravention. I recall being in the 1 lth grade and dreading walking into 7th period which happened to be algebra. The last class ending the day is supposed to be Joyful and a sign of bliss that soon one can go home. Unfortunately for me it was a 60 minute period of horror and begrudge. Ms. Hong my teacher was a little woman with little patience. She was introducing a new topic to the class and of course I did not retain or master the concept to slay the beast of the problem.
Each student was to stay and omplete one problem and that problem was to be checked off for accuracy upon exiting. Needless to say I was the last man left sitting. Crying my eyes out there I was in the back of class making multiple miserable attempts to complete the problem and scram. Why on this day did we have to discover quadratic formulas? Plugging in variables with numbers and using long formulas with squares and square roots were going to be the death of me. I remember Ms. Hong walking over to me and seeing my tears, yet she had no remorse for them. She calmly and nonchalantly said "l know it's painful but you must finish.
Embarrassment and warmth came across my wet cheeks as she said those painful words to me. I tried and tried yet my best was not good enough. After ten excruciating minutes she freed me from my Jail cell atmosphere of a classroom. Every test returned bleed with a fat red "D" or "F. " each test killed my confidence and put it in a place where it couldn't be revived. "Study students you must study students" is what she always told us. I always felt as though math was a subject that cannot be studied. How does one study numbers? was a question that riddled my mind each time she said such.
Homework assignments were Just as hard receiving after being corrected. Red marks scratched my white paper repeadly. I never knew where I was going wrong, I tried, yet I seemed to digress or remain at the same pace. Tenth grade geometry was no better. The abstract and oddly named shapes mixed with numbers and formulas further raddled my brain. This time math was the first subject of the day. Each Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning I woke up with the notion of perhaps faking sick, or somehow skipping class Just to avoid my encounter with the monster. I never went along with any of my nutty schemes.
I went to class preparing myself to be confused for an hour. Every homework assignment was turned in on time but each problem was as wrong as two left feet. Sitting in class waiting tor homework and quizzes to be returned was an anxious, nerve racking feeling. My heart would beat nearly out of my chest, then sink to my feet once I saw that ugly, ugly red "F" or "D. " this feeling was not a new one by any means. Can you say da Ja vu? Where had I felt this feeling or been in this predicament before, only in every math class I'd ever taken that's where. The concept of studying math was still foreign to me.
Attempting homework assignments were troubling enough. Minutes turned into hours Just to complete them. Flipping of magazine pages, reading of novels, and munching on snacks stole a lot of my time. Distraction mixed with frustration is never a good recipe for doing math homework. Each chapter had gotten more complex as well as each quiz did. I remember taking our end of the term final. Every chapter beginning from one through seven was on the final. Problems from each chapter and section where going to be on the exam. I had worked what I thought was to be hard to ensure my passing of the exam.
Staying up late into the ee hours of the morning looking over notes and trying Oh so desperately to memorize formulas was my version of studying. On the last day of class the exam was issued. I was extremely nervous and anxious to flip what seemed to be never ending pages of the exam. My hands were sweaty with each turn. As I peeked through each problem my heart beat like a marching band drum. For I couldn't remember how to solve the majority of the problems, devastation swept across me. As I would solve each problem my mind would mix and transfer the ways and steps to execute each problem. Another failing math grade is what I received.
A dissatisfying letter grade of a "D" stuck out like a sore thumb on my attractive report card of "A's" and "B's. I believe the problem began when I was in the 8th grade. I was taking pre algebra. I had a teacher that gave me an undeserving passing grade. Each day she taught the class was noisy, and out of control. Talkative students gagged and gossiped about fashion, what gross slop for lunch was served, and who was dating who. I too at times had a listening ear towards the conversations, but for the majority of each class I tried firecly to pay attention. Homework was never turned in nor checked for ccuracy.
The students ran the class, coming and going as they pleased. The instructor, Ms. Armstrong was Just an merely adult that was invisible. She gave me passing grade of a "B. " why she did such I will never know. Perhaps she passed my peers and I so we would not have to repeat her course, and she could kiss us goodbye for a last and final time. I recollect the class being a free period, perhaps another lunch break one might say. My ignorance of pre algebra molded my failing future in math. Not knowing the basics made the concepts in high school and even college challenging to attempt and understand.
It is like the old saying; you can't know where you're going if you don't know where youVe been. In this occurrence the past information was vital to my future success in math. I never developed nor was shown the key elements as a tot how to be successful in math. I never took tutoring seriously; no one could get through to me to make my understanding clear. I had tutor after tutor and with each my knowledge of math remained the same; dark and dreary. My first passing math grade set me back. My happiness of the beautiful "B" was only a fapde. I wish today that the tools and knowledge of math would have been instilled in me.
The act ot studying math is real, tor it is not Just numbers, but it is tn memorization and constant practice of applying formulas and using the concepts in the daily world. Till this day I long to complete a math problem correctly. I still walk into class Just the same as I did as a girl; scared, nervous and begrudging sitting for an hour learning and listening about numbers mixed with letters and crazy symbols. As a young adult in college I am still currently failing math! I am determined to change my lifelong struggle with math. I have three resolutions to passing my mouth course. The first consist of seeing my professor for office hours.
I will see him three times a week, for a hour if possible. I will come to the designated office hours with detailed questions on my notes. I will review my notes before seeing my professor and high light any and all problems that brought confusion. I will also ask for him to create new mountains of problems for me to climb. After successfully completing three problems in a row I will go and complete any homework that is assigned. My second resolution will be to complete any homework that is assigned on the day that it is given; in doing so I will have the newly material fresh in my memory, making the ssignment more easily to attempt.
This strategy will also save time. I will not have to flip through notes nor my text book as a reference on how to solve problems. My third resolution is to begin to voice my confusion while in class. I will no longer sit bewildered, lost, and frustrated. I will change my attitude into optimism. If I can conceive a thought, I can make it happen. No longer will I think negatively or begrudgingly but I will embrace the opportunity of learning a new concept and mastering it. At the sight of a problem that is unclear to me I will immediately raise y hand and ask for clarification.
Leaving class with an understanding of what occurred will also lead to my success in completing homework and conquering my fear of Goliath the math subject. My failing of math deceases here with my three strategies. My new attitude and optimistic thinking will further aid in my success of receiving a passing grade in math. Meeting with my professor consistently three times a week for a hour, voicing my confusion while in class and lastly completing my homework assignments on the day given will result in an "A" letter grade that I have always longed for.